Not Riesz


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Full Name: Riesz E Squeeze-y
Gender: Girlotron
Race: Carbon-based lifeform
Occupation: Depraved onlooker
Homeland: Outer Mongolia
Age: Asl?? lol hes totally typing it to
Orientation: Adverb fetishist, slowly, uh
Affiliation: I heard some dude took out his ribs so he could omg
Height: Big!
Weight: Small…
Hair: Some
Fur: Less
Eyes: 2

Magicke: She has the power to repair a '67 Nova while not repairing a '67 Nova. Wrap your head around that, o shag-haired villain.

Abilities and skills: There is some evidence to suggest there was a colon used at the end of the title of this field.

Weaknesses: Mice and fairies

Physical description: Riesz has a full, bushy beard attached to her backpack, which is filled with enchanted codpieces, which can be used as projectiles against vampires

History and Personality: Riesz was born on 4 January 1643 at Woolsthorpe Manor in Woolsthorpe-by-Woolworth, a hamlet in the county of Lincolntowncarshire. At the time of her birth, England had not adopted the Gregorian calendar and therefore her date of birth was recorded as Christmas Day, 25 December 1642. Riesz was born three months after the birth of her father, a prosperous farmer also named Riesz. Born maturely, she was a small child; her mother Hannah Ayscough reportedly said that he could have fit inside a quart mug (around 1.1 litre). When Riesz was three, her mother remarried suddenly and went to live with her new husband, the Reverend Barnabus Smith, leaving her daughter in the care of his maternal grandmother, Margery Ayscough. The young Riesz disliked her stepfather and held some enmity towards her mother for marrying him, as revealed by this entry in a list of sins committed up to the age of 19: "Threatening my father and mother Smith to burn them and the house over them. Then I joined the Galactic Empire and things were okay for awhile. Which one of these slurpees is mine? "

Theme song(s): Happy Happy, Joy Joy - Brahms 9th movement

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